Writing in Management and Business

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Sample SOM301 Paper with Instructor's Comments
used with permission of the student

Overall comments from instructor: An very good overview of the competition for your business.  In revising this, you might want to balance the discussion of the competitors.  The discussion of Example 1 is thorough whereas the other two discussions should be as thorough as the Example 1.  The format is excellent as is the information used from the competitors to plan your strategy.  In the rest of my comments, I refer to some small technical issues that may help you perfect your writing.  Project grade: A-.

(Scroll down to see other comments at markers.)

Efficiency Management

Competitive Analysis

Competitive Strategy

Efficiency Management’s competition is minimal within the small business area.  It is, however, heavier in the midsize and larger business environment.  Services offered by Efficiency Management are normally offered by temporary agencies or larger outsourcing organizations.  [db2] These services are typically only affordable to medium and large organizations.  Efficiency Management will focus on offering these services competitively in the small business environment.  Once the organization is stable and has acquired a strong clientele list, Efficiency Management will move into the more competitive, mid-range business environment.

Main Competitor

EXAMPLE 1 –

Website: www.example1.com

 

EXAMPLE 1 Interview: March 13, 2002

EXAMPLE 1 was originally opened in 1981 by an individual woman[db3] .  It has recently, within last two years, been purchased by Betty Blake.  The company has grown from a one [wo]man[db4]  company to a company with five full-time employees and multiple off-site consultants whom are hired during high seasons.  The company was personally financed[db5]  in 1981 and was refinanced with a small business loan upon the recent transfer. 

      EXAMPLE 1’s direct competition is minimal and mainly streams from OMNIPLEX, a large corporation with over 2500 employees.  EXAMPLE 1 has found that they are[db6]  able to serve a specific niche of the market, typically smaller businesses, that are[db7]  not able to afford the services of a large company such as OMNIPLEX. 

Products/Services Offered

§         Word Processing

§         Office Management

§         Transcription Services

§         Meeting Planning

§         Database Management

§         Presentation Speakers

Competitor’s Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths: 

§         Substantial clientele list

§         Wide range of services

§         Been in business since 1981

Weaknesses:

§         Clientele dispersed geographically

§         Range of services is too wide to specialize

§         Poor website design

§         Does not attempt to compete directly with larger corporations

§         Quality has slipped (see website)

Competitor’s Strategies and Objectives

      EXAMPLE 1’s strategy is a price strategy.  It is a smaller company and hopes to gain from the flexibility of its size. 

EXAMPLE 1’s Niche

EXAMPLE 1 has maintained its niche as a low-cost stepping stone for smaller business organizations.  In particular, rapidly growing organizations that were finding it hard to keep up with the increasing workload were able to seek assistance through EXAMPLE 1.  As these small organizations were reaching into the midsize market, they were not able to attract customers or employees due to their lack of appeal.  EXAMPLE 1 was able to help design human resource packages, benefit packages and training materials that allowed the small business to appear more attractive to employees.  Attracting top employees allowed the organizations to take the next step into the midsize business market.

Efficiency Management’s Strategy

EXAMPLE 1’s fear of competing with midsize to large organizations has hurt their[db8]  growth over time.  Efficiency Management will not attempt to compete directly with large corporations such as OMNI[db9] , but with the right objectives in place, we can certainly provide support and build a relationship with larger organizations.  Networking will strengthen this position.

Additional Competitor

Example 2

Website: www.example2.com

 

Products/Services Offered

§         Develops performance management systems

§         Produces pamphlets and other documentation

§         Provides customized training seminars

§         Assists in management organizational methods

Competitor’s Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths:

§         Education and experience of owner/staff

§         High quality clientele list

Weaknesses:

§         Extremely high cost

§         Experience of staff is limited to large corporate environment

Competitor’s Strategies and Objectives

Example 2’s strategy is an expertise strategy.  They attract experience [db10] large corporate employees who are familiar with fast paced, high technology companies.

Example 2 Niche

Example 2 has maintained its niche by employing big name employees from large corporations.  These employees typically bring a large portion of their clientele with them.  They are able to offer familiar faces and proven expertise.

Efficiency Management’s Strategy

Continued education and satisfied customer accounts will have to be marketed heavily to compete directly with this type of organization.  However, in most cases, Example 2 has priced themselves out of direct competition with Efficiency Management.

Additional Competitor

Example 3

Website:  http://www.example3.com/

 

Products/Services Offered

§         Wide Variety of Presentation Topics

§         Organizational Seminars

Competitor’s Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths: 

§         National offices (including locally)

§         Established clientele

Weaknesses:

§         Overscheduled

§         Geographically stretched

Competitor’s Strategies and Objectives

Example 3’s strategy is an entertainment strategy.  Their[db11]  goal is to entertain, educate, and motivate people to improve personally and in their career.  Their objective is to assist organizations in tightening personal productivity, balancing work and family, getting organized and reducing stress and dealing with information overload.

Example 3’s Niche

Example 3 has maintained its niche by offering high-power, entertaining presentations.  Customers walk away with a wealth of information and feeling as if they have been entertained.

Efficiency Management’s Strategy

Example 3 has an excellent presentation program.  Management Efficiency can gain experience by viewing and attending presentations offered by Example 3.  These are proven techniques that can benefit Efficiency Management in its presentation area.  [db12] 

Conclusion

      Efficiency Management has much to gain by following the strategies suggested in this competitive analysis.  Competition is minimal at this time and Efficiency Management can gain by observing these experienced competitors.  Rising to meet the challenges associated with their[db13]  strengths and taking advantage of their weaknesses will place Efficiency Management in a perfect position to gain market share in this industry.

 

 

Competitor

Strengths

Weaknesses

EM Strategies

EXAMPLE 1

Website: www.example1.com

 

§        Substantial clientele list

§        Wide range of services

§        Been in business since 1981

§        Clientele dispersed geographically

§        Range of services is too wide to specialize

§        Afraid to compete with midsize organizations

§        Continue to grow clientele through networking

§        Narrow services offered to target clientele

§        Design growth to enter midsize market

Example 2

Website: www.example2.com

§        Education and experience of owners/staff

§        High quality clientele list

§        Experience of staff limited to large corporate organizations

§        Extensive experience of staff demands high fees

§        Continued education extremely important

§        Marketing of education and satisfied customer accounts

§        Fees will remain competitive

Example 3

http://www.example3.com/

 

§        National offices

§        Established clientele

§        High-power, entertaining presentations

§        Overscheduled

§        Geographically stretched

 

§        Target small geographic area

§        Observe high-powered presentations and infuse into organization

Table: Strengths and Weaknesses of Competitors[db14] 

 


 [db2]Good distinction here of the competition’s strategy.

 [db3]Name the entrepreneur.

 [db4]One person would be okay unless you wanted to distinguish this as a female-owned and operated business.

 [db5]financed with personal funds.  “Personally financed” is a bit ambiguous.

 [db6]it is…”  Refer to an organization as a singular noun.

 [db7]Since are relates to businesses, remove the comma.  With the comma, the referent antecedent is niche.

 [db8]its

 [db9]OMNI?  Or OMNIPLEX?  Be consistent with terminology.

 [db10]It attracts experienced 

 [db11]Its….  And so on….

 [db12]Fix the margins to be consistent with the rest of the paper.

 [db13]its….

 [db14]Place this header at the start of the table.